Archive for March, 2004

Kiss Me…I’m Sick!

Sunday, March 14th, 2004

I’ve spent the last few days extremely sick, which has not been fun, although it’s given me time to read Kim Wilkins’ latest book The Autumn Castle from cover to cover. I loves me some Kim Wilkins, and it was nice to be reminded why. I love the way she seamlessly blends high fantasy and horror with contemporary life, and her ability to write some of the most interesting and complex characters I’ve come across.

I find it interesting to note the different ways my body reacts when I get sick. I used to find it fascinating, but that was before I started getting quite sick every few weeks, as I have been for the last few months. What has been irritating this time is that I really haven’t felt hungry or wanted to eat. Of course, when I forced down some tinned peaches today I started to feel better almost immediately. Wish I’d done that a couple of days ago. Stupid body!

I’ve had to miss a couple of days’ work, which I really don’t like doing and which isn’t good for me financially since I’m a casual employee. But by the same token I’ve not really been in a position to be able to work; apart from how I feel physically, the public seem to take offence when people in customer service roles break off from serving them, scream “I HAVE TO GET TO THE BATHROOM!” and proceed to run away, gagging.

I thought I was getting better last night, when I even had the energy to bounce around my room to Mclusky for a while, but alas, it was not to be. I felt even worse this morning. But luckily, it all seems to be getting better, and I can quit writing whiny entries like this one! Hooray!

In other world news…hmm. Nope. I got nothin’. I’d best haul my diseased carcass off to bed, methinks.

Romantic Conversation Snippet #271

Friday, March 12th, 2004

Me: One of these days I’m going to have to get you to explain that geek language to me, the one where they use numbers instead of letters. Because I totally don’t understand what it means and heaps of people I know use it. And after all this time using the Internet, I’m really too embarrassed to ask.
Stuart: [smugly] Well, if you’d spent some time at message boards in the mid-nineties…
Me: I was getting laid in the mid-nineties.
Stuart: Shut up!

Call for Submissions – Cardigan Press

Friday, March 12th, 2004

For those of you who may be interested, the excellent Cardigan Press are now accepting short story submissions from Australian writers for their third anthology.

Cardigan’s previous anthologies, the sold-out Machines Will Not Give Change and the brilliant Normal Service Will Resume, both feature excellent stories from up-and-coming Australian writers, so what the hell are you waiting for?

Submissions close April 16. Guidelines can be found here.

Satan commands you to dress funny

Tuesday, March 9th, 2004

I think I won some sort of anti-fashion award for the outfit I wore to Uni today. Despite the fact that it was rather cold, I wore blue three-quarter length pants, open brown sandally things, and my slightly ratty Nancy Vandal t-shirt that dates from about ’97 or ’98, the one with one of Fox Trotsky’s signature lurid skull and crossbones designs, and the slogan “Satan commands you to dance funny”. I looked absolutely ratshit, and for once I didn’t give a fuck. It was great.

I’ve been thinking about how much effort people seem to go to in dressing up just to come to Uni. This is something I’ve long observed, often with much amusement, but it’s been brought forward in my mind again by a conversation I had with my friend Bronwyn the other day, as we wandered around campus watching people walking, talking and generally doing their thing. Bron pointed out that you just don’t seem to see people slobbing around in their trackies and thongs (by which I mean FOOTWEAR, American pigs!) anymore. And you know, she’s right. There’s far too much designer bullshit around on students these days, as far as I’m concerned, and I don’t like it. For one thing, how do they afford it? I see girls in Dolce and Gabbana and I think, “but you’re STUDENTS!” Did I miss something by dropping out of How To Get a Sugar Daddy 101? Or do they just live at home with no expenses, work a part time job, and pick up extra cash by being a topless waitress at Uncle Jim’s poker nights? Is everyone working as a stripper these days and I’ve missed the boat because I’m belligerent and have completely unruly bosoms and no one’s actually willing to pay to see me naked (buying the cow, and all that)? And how the hell do they expect the government to believe they can’t afford a 25% increase in HECS fees when they’re all dolled up in expensive, s/wanky clobber?

I seem to remember this not being as extreme at Monash Clayton a couple of years ago. Part of why I remember this is that I did a couple of PR subjects at Berwick in my second year (now let us never speak of this again). I remember being the only girl wearing jeans and sneakers in a lecture of 200 students. I remember noting the labels and slavish trend-following with a mixture of amazement and alarm. I also noted how many of the girls wore expensive, highly impractical shoes, and I noted this with a certain gleam of malicious glee: your stilettos or kitten heels may look great when you’re sitting around looking fashionably bored, but when you have to walk through a paddock to get to the Uni buildings, and one that turns into mud soup in winter, you just look like a dickhead.

I remember with fondness a friend of mine who has sadly long since left Uni. He was the antithesis of fashionista. He would frequently turn up to Uni in his dressing gown, underneath which would be tattered army pants and a t-shirt with an amusing and/or somewhat indecipherable slogan on it. Usually the t-shirt would have numerous holes. Combined with his ultra-skinny physique, scruffy I-haven’t-shaved-since-the-last-Labor-government grooming style, the huge dark red and fluffy dressing gown topped off a look that was sort of a cross between Hugh Hefner and a metho-drinking derelict. And you know, he worked that look, and worked it well. I miss him and his eclectic style (also our conversations about politics, culture jamming and who are the best porn directors, but that’s by the by). I just don’t think I can respect someone in $300 cargo pants and a Che Guevara t-shirt from Dangerfield.

Top 12 Reasons Against Gay Marriage

Monday, March 8th, 2004

Yes, I know everybody’s been posting this, but I’m going to get on the bandwagon anyay. This one’s for someone who’s won a place in the black lump that passes for my heart, and since I didn’t pay him to bow down in front of me today and say “All hail the power of pink!”, I figure I at least owe him something.

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears’s 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn’t changed at all: women are property, Blacks can’t marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That’s why we only have one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.

10. Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to cars or longer lifespans.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays & lesbians.

Liberated from here.