Archive for April, 2004

Call For Submissions – Going Down Swinging

Monday, April 12th, 2004

The folks over at Going Down Swinging, one of the awesome-est annual anthologies around (which has been going strong since Cocky was an egg and before your correspondent’s parents had even met) are seeking your submissions of short fiction, poetry, comics and spoken word from now until the end of June. Going Down Swinging is a fantastic, eclectic read and a spiffy feather for any writer to have in their cap. Plus, it’s the only literary anthology that cares enough to remind its potential contributors of the importance of a healthy diet.

Check out the submission guidelines here.

What to wear…

Thursday, April 8th, 2004

I need some suggestions for a costume I could wear to a Halloween in May party I’ll be going to. Preferably suggestions for costumes that would necessitate the wearing of a black leather corset. I bought the damn thing nearly two years ago and I think I’ve worn it once, even though I absolutely adore it and even though at said party it resulted in people following me around from a safe distance (I would also say it got me laid, but I think that has less to do with the power of the corset than the fact that Stuart is a big dirty man-whore). Unfortunately, my life just doesn’t seem to have many occasions where I could feasibly wear it. This may not have been the case once, but I’m a boring lass these days.

Of course, I could make the effort to find reasons and occasions to wear the corset. I could wear it to Uni and prevent myself from slouching in my seat during boring lectures. I could wear it to work for interesting results/reactions and a greater sense of authoritarianism (‘Naughty boy! Bring your books back on time!’ ‘Yes, Mistress.’). I could wear it around the house, where it would look absolutely stunning combined with my baggy old trackies and fluffy blue slippers.

So, yeah. Stuart’s sister is throwing a party and while I doubt we’ll be there long (what with him muttering darkly about escaping to my house after putting in a brief appearance), I’d still like to make an effort. And any effort that potentially involves me trotting around in Old Blacky is worth making, I feel. Even if it is at my boyfriend’s parents’ house. Which sounds really rather wrong.

Dick Jokes: Social Lubricant for Social Retards

Wednesday, April 7th, 2004

Titian moved out of our house on the weekend. Her stay was only ever temporary anyway, while her bungalow at her parents’ house got rebuilt after she “accidentally” burned it down (it’s amazing what people will do for the chance to live with us). I’m really sad she’s gone, as she was great fun to live with and to accidentally traumatise (plus, the look on her face each time one of us said something that would scar her indeliably was just so cute!). Also, it meant I had to give back her comics. Seriously, though, she was great to live with, and we’ll miss her a lot.

In the meantime, Deirdre’s sister Alison, who is also very good people, has moved into Titian’s old room. Unfortunately, I don’t think she’s as easily corruptible as Titian (having lived with Deirdre for a good chunk of her life already), but I guess we can only try.

In other ‘my weekend’ news (because really, nothing interesting has happened so far this week unless you happen to find detailed accounts of me skulking in the library at Uni until all hours of the night titillating), Stuart and I caught up with Ms Liah and her boy on Saturday night, and we went to see Sista She’s Comedy Fest act. They were really good; their songs were fantastic, their performances excellent. I guess my only criticism is that at times their banter seemed a little forced, and they didn’t always seem to engage the audience. My only real gripe is that they weren’t selling any CDs, grrr. But it was great to see them after singing along to ‘What R Yooze Girlz Doin?’ for so long.
On Sunday night, we hung out together again, for Liah’s birthday. She decided to make it a gangland-themed night, so we had dinner at the restaurant in Carlton where that guy was assassinated recently, and then the plan was to go back to Liah’s and watch The Godfather. Best sick birthday celebration idea ever!
I had to pass on the movie, what with having a meeting with a tutor the next day for an essay I was supposed to have started. I had a really good time at dinner though. I didn’t know many of Liah’s friends who were there, but that didn’t turn out to be a problem at all. Madonna was wrong: music doesn’t bring the people together, toilet humour does.

Edumacation is Important

Monday, April 5th, 2004

Whilst using one of the catalogues in the library at Uni today, I overheard a cnversation going on between two girls sharing the terminal next to me. They were trying to look something up and by the sounds of things weren’t having too much luck. I’m guessing they were first-years by their apparent confusion about using the catalogue, and also what little I was able to garner from their conversation about what their assignment was about. Also, I’ve noticed that it’s mostly just first years who tend to do everything in groups; I think this stems from the widely-held high school paranoia that if you’re seen without friends around you, people are going to assume you don’t have any friends, and it’s terrible to have complete strangers think bad things about you. Usually by second year, people have realised that no one’s really paying any attention to them, they’ve stopped worrying about looking like they don’t have any friends, and they’ve stopped giving a fuck. If they’re anything like me, they’ve even graduated to being consciously antisocial.

‘I know “ecstasy” has some other meaning besides, like, drugs,’ the blonde one said, biting her lip. ‘I’m pretty sure. I just can’t remember what it is.’
Her shorter, dark-haired friend typed something, then shook her head in annoyance. ‘I’m just not getting anything.’
‘That’s stuuuuupid,’ whined the blonde. ‘How are we supposed to write an essay on something if there’s no resources for it? That’s not fair!’

This is funny until you realise that heaps of school-leavers missed out on getting into Uni this year.

RIP Warped

Friday, April 2nd, 2004

Sad news for fans of good dirty Australian rock’n’roll as stalwarts Warped call it a day.

I’ve only seen Warped live once, at a PBS benefit. They put on a fantastic, high-energy performance, even if bass guitarist Brettthereberock did nearly keep belting Stu in the face with the pointy end of his guitar because we were right up the front and he kept coming right up the front of the stage and we couldn’t really step backwards or dodge because the crowd was packed in tight. Apart from the look of terror periodically crossing Stu’s face at the prospect of losing some teeth, it was a really great night. Warped will be sorely missed (except maybe by Stu’s teeth).

Oh, and don’t laugh at me just because I don’t know what the pointy bit at the end of a bass guitar is called, arseholes. I’m not a musician, I just fellate them in the hopes of improving my sense of self-worth.