If there’s not a website featuring mature-aged people engaging in watersports, and if it’s not called Golden Oldies, then that matter really ought to be rectified.

Despite the teabagging, some of my friends have begged me to give 2006 another chance. I am sceptical yet hopeful that the relationship will work out. 2006 has given me flowers and chocolates and said “aw, c’mon, baby, I’ll be good.” So I’ll give it a chance and see how things work out, because deep down I am a hopeless romantic and really want things to turn out okay, and am willing to make the extra effort if that’s what it takes. But I think that, deep down, at least for a while, I’ll be cautious, and hold my heart close, lest 2006 suddenly decides to give me a dirty sanchez.

I don’t want another year like 2005. I asked 2006 to please be nice to me, or at least better than 2005, and it said “Sure”. Then it waited until I was asleep, took pictures of itself teabagging me, and posted them on the Internet. I hate 2006.