Goodbye, Monash

Now that I’ve officially finished at Monash, I feel like it’s time to say goodbye to the place that, for better or worse, has been such a part of my life for the past five years. I have this kind of tremendously loving ambivalence towards it, which doesn’t make any sense but means that my feelings towards it are at least cohesive with the rest of my emotional life. Plus, I finally got around to updating the About Me bit in the sidebar, so now is as good a time as any.

Goodbye, Union Building! I look forward to not having to battle my way through you at peak times. Also, I look forward to not having to evacuate you because someone burned toast or some funster phoned in a bomb threat.

Goodbye, Menzies Building! The site of debates, arguments and astonishing feats of wankery, I will miss the way you sway in the slightest breeze, and the way in which that forces me to contemplate my own mortality.

Goodbye, Bus Loop! We didn’t have much to do with each other after second year, I guess, but you’re still a major part of my Monash “experience”. Although, looking back, it was probably a bit rude of me to have sex in you.

Goodbye, Rotunda! I had some great lectures in you, but honestly? Your seats are really fucking uncomfortable, and your restroom facilities inadequate.

Goodbye, Monash Library Document Delivery Services! I would never have gotten my thesis written if it weren’t for you guys. Stupid obscure research.

Goodbye, Rare Books Room! Oh, I probably spent too much time in you, and I had a habit of bringing people to you like I was ushering them to the Promised Land, but seriously? You rock. So much time spent in you, in the company of wonderful people. So much time spent pawing through your collections of zines and lesbian pulp fiction. So much time spent awed in your collection of Swift first editions. So much time spent badgering the poor Rare Books Librarian, who is probably terribly pleased to see the back of me.

And on that note, goodbye, Rare Books Exhibition Space. A source of much wonder and learning in your own right, you were the place in which I attended more than one exhibition opening, and witnessed firsthand the horrific feeding frenzy that occurs when English academics are given unrestricted access to free alcohol. I will never forget my first attendance at such a function, where my normally mild-mannered Lit tutor from first year expounded on the difficulties of finding permanent work in academia while severely invading my personal space, shaking his finger around in an alarming manner, and loudly slurring. “You carn geddany work! I gotsh a PhD and exshperience! Whammore do they want? Ish, ish…ISH UNFAIR, THAT’SH WHAT IT ISH!”. Happily for him and for my personal space concerns, he found work overseas and is by all accounts happy with his lot, although probably still an opportunistic lush. I imagine that’s one thing that doesn’t change, and it kind of really makes me want to become an alcoholic English academic.

At any rate, it’s mostly been a good half-decade (sheesh, I wish I hadn’t just thought of it like that). I hesitate to say that it’s goodbye forever, because I don’t know what’s in store for the future and let’s face it, I’m a glutton for punishment.

2 Responses to “Goodbye, Monash”

  1. Chris Says:

    Ya big silly – you have to go on to further study, on accounta i wanna be able to call you Master. We can work our way up to Doctor from there. (I’ll be nurse.)

    Although, i’m guessing you’ll get posh on us once you realise that Monash is an academic brothel, and that all of the elite wanking is done at Melbourne. Monash will have to wait for you to come back as a guest letcherer 🙂

  2. Anne Says:

    Aimee, I would like to go into the RARE BOOKS at Monash also. Do you just front the desk and ask to be ushered in or is it trickier than that? Did you know there is a Jeff kennett gargoyle on St Pats Cathedral (see Radical Melbourne, Book 2 – Sparrow & Sparrow). Congrats on your results.


    Anne Longmire