Comments on: I Am Trying to Avoid Referencing “Streetcar”

By: naridu

naridu — Wed, 07 Sep 2005 03:40:13 +0000

Blog world and real world six degrees collide! While excited to see someone from the ol’ diaryland haunt I was immediately sobered when reading this entry in which you mention Bec. For some reason I have absolutly no doubt of who you speak for although I never met her myself this young woman was a burst of love and life for all those who did. My partner NS was a good friend of hers and was also quite torn up for a period of time, hence my six degrees comment. His web page is http://www.theotherguy.org (if it isn’t up wait a day or so, he’s been having server issues). Wow, I’m just a little blown away by connections at the moment. It’s awful that you had to deal with such a scummy employer at a time like that, I hope Karma has the good sense to sink bloody teeth into their arses for it.

By: Aimee

Aimee — Tue, 30 Aug 2005 05:03:10 +0000

Coming to the party late again, with the lampshade already on my head…

You and I are actually in complete agreement, Dirk. I was just trying to point out why people hesitate to do things to help strangers. I do think it’s an unfortunate offshoot of our current society that we sometimes don’t, or feel we can’t, or that our attempts at assistance may be met with hostility.

And yes, I saw that Michael Moore segment, I think it was from The Awful Truth. It was sad.

Steph, you might have been overreacting. Or not. Impossible to tell from here. But considering the circumstances (ie that it was dark, and deserted, and I know you don’t live in the best part of town), it’s not unconscionable that you didn’t stop. Well, I don’t think so, anyway.

By: gypped

gypped — Wed, 24 Aug 2005 01:44:53 +0000

I remember how happy you were to get that job in the first place. those cunts.

By: Steph

Steph — Sat, 20 Aug 2005 06:46:08 +0000

I was just thinking about this very issue. I’m scummy. About 10 months ago, a few blocks from my apartment, I had an opportunity to help and I didn’t do it. It was rainy and dark, the street was deserted. Passing me on the sidewalk up a slope was a struggling man in a wheelchair. I so desperately wanted to ask “hey man, want a push?” and help him to the top of the incline. He looked tired, like he’d been travelling all day. I so wanted to help him. But then I thought of the 60-odd women Ted Bundy killed, and how mainly he lured them by faking injury with a cast or a sling etc. And I noticed how strong this man looked.

I didn’t help him. It’s motherfuckers like Ted Bundy that have ruined everything for us all. Plus, I’m a jerk. I guess I get paranoid living three blocks from the locale of Gary Heidnik’s murders.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Heidnik

By: Dirk Thruster

Dirk Thruster — Fri, 19 Aug 2005 01:14:20 +0000

I would argue that it is a part of belonging to a society that you stop to help a stranger - or anybody else. I think it is a mark of an evolved society that all of it’s members take an interest in the welfare of all it’s other members.
Reminds of a segment I saw on one of Micheal Moore’s TV shows. He had a person in New York pretend to be unconscious on the footpath of a busy street and other people do the same thing at the same time in London and Toronto. He then timed how long it was before anybody stopped to help. It was supposed to be a test of compassion or something. The New Yorker was the first to receive assistance - from an Aussie tourist.

By: Aimee

Aimee — Thu, 18 Aug 2005 23:16:53 +0000

Ah, that’s a shame, Dirk. I’ve had people react like that to me, too - like the time I stopped to help a little kid who was crying and I thought was lost, when it turned out that his mother was only a few metres away - she was just ignoring him.

I wonder, though, how different (and similar) people’s reasons for not helping are? Not wanting to get “involved” in a situation, certainly, but other things as well; not wanting to be feared, like you say above. See, people (especially women, I would argue) don’t necessarily know whether you’ve stopped to help or harm. There’s a lot out there inciting women to fear strange men. This is frustrating in itself, moreso when it bites someone who was genuinely trying to help on the arse.

To me it seems like a bit of a social contract when you stop to help a stranger, and we’re all so very, very nervous of any sort of social contract with someone we don’t know well these days. The person being helped may well be prayed upon (as I was on another occasion - my car broke down at a busy intersection and the guy who stopped to help me move it stole all the money from my wallet), but by time same token, the helper is potentially putting themselves in a risky situation also. I’m reminded of another car incident, when a young gay man stopped to help me out, but paused before doing so. His reason? Last time he’d stopped to help someone out, he’d narrowly avoided being bashed by a homophobe. Lovely.

I don’t know, I’m rambling at this point. I just hope we never as a society get to a point where no one is prepared to do anything to help another random human in distress.

By: Dirk Thruster

Dirk Thruster — Thu, 18 Aug 2005 11:41:43 +0000

People like Dave are becoming more rare and not entirely without reason; out riding one day, I stopped to help a middle aged lady who had a flat tyre and she hid in the car with the door locked and would only talk to me through the (closed) window, telling me that it was o.k., the NRMA was on its way.

By: Alexis

Alexis — Thu, 18 Aug 2005 05:35:51 +0000

A sad story with a great ending - i love it.

By: kathryn

kathryn — Thu, 18 Aug 2005 05:09:29 +0000

It is great when people actually take a bit of time out to care. Your ex-boss sounds like a total cow and you are better off not there.