Satan commands you to dress funny

I think I won some sort of anti-fashion award for the outfit I wore to Uni today. Despite the fact that it was rather cold, I wore blue three-quarter length pants, open brown sandally things, and my slightly ratty Nancy Vandal t-shirt that dates from about ’97 or ’98, the one with one of Fox Trotsky’s signature lurid skull and crossbones designs, and the slogan “Satan commands you to dance funny”. I looked absolutely ratshit, and for once I didn’t give a fuck. It was great.

I’ve been thinking about how much effort people seem to go to in dressing up just to come to Uni. This is something I’ve long observed, often with much amusement, but it’s been brought forward in my mind again by a conversation I had with my friend Bronwyn the other day, as we wandered around campus watching people walking, talking and generally doing their thing. Bron pointed out that you just don’t seem to see people slobbing around in their trackies and thongs (by which I mean FOOTWEAR, American pigs!) anymore. And you know, she’s right. There’s far too much designer bullshit around on students these days, as far as I’m concerned, and I don’t like it. For one thing, how do they afford it? I see girls in Dolce and Gabbana and I think, “but you’re STUDENTS!” Did I miss something by dropping out of How To Get a Sugar Daddy 101? Or do they just live at home with no expenses, work a part time job, and pick up extra cash by being a topless waitress at Uncle Jim’s poker nights? Is everyone working as a stripper these days and I’ve missed the boat because I’m belligerent and have completely unruly bosoms and no one’s actually willing to pay to see me naked (buying the cow, and all that)? And how the hell do they expect the government to believe they can’t afford a 25% increase in HECS fees when they’re all dolled up in expensive, s/wanky clobber?

I seem to remember this not being as extreme at Monash Clayton a couple of years ago. Part of why I remember this is that I did a couple of PR subjects at Berwick in my second year (now let us never speak of this again). I remember being the only girl wearing jeans and sneakers in a lecture of 200 students. I remember noting the labels and slavish trend-following with a mixture of amazement and alarm. I also noted how many of the girls wore expensive, highly impractical shoes, and I noted this with a certain gleam of malicious glee: your stilettos or kitten heels may look great when you’re sitting around looking fashionably bored, but when you have to walk through a paddock to get to the Uni buildings, and one that turns into mud soup in winter, you just look like a dickhead.

I remember with fondness a friend of mine who has sadly long since left Uni. He was the antithesis of fashionista. He would frequently turn up to Uni in his dressing gown, underneath which would be tattered army pants and a t-shirt with an amusing and/or somewhat indecipherable slogan on it. Usually the t-shirt would have numerous holes. Combined with his ultra-skinny physique, scruffy I-haven’t-shaved-since-the-last-Labor-government grooming style, the huge dark red and fluffy dressing gown topped off a look that was sort of a cross between Hugh Hefner and a metho-drinking derelict. And you know, he worked that look, and worked it well. I miss him and his eclectic style (also our conversations about politics, culture jamming and who are the best porn directors, but that’s by the by). I just don’t think I can respect someone in $300 cargo pants and a Che Guevara t-shirt from Dangerfield.

5 Responses to “Satan commands you to dress funny”

  1. momo Says:

    Geez, back in my day, I was lucky if I could scrape together a ratty hole-ridden cardigan from my Austudy. Owever, PR students have been wearing heels and beige Country Road since the dawn of time. I used to sneer at them 10 years ago across the lecture theatre (I did media studies – we shared some lectures) through holes in my ratty cardy.

    I think fashion is your adventure in that ensemble, young Aimee. Love your blog!

  2. gypped Says:

    ms. aimee: hi. the cumulative cost of my outfit is $14, including shoes. do I pass?

    ps: I also own a pair of fcuk jeans, but only because my dad bought me a gift voucher from there for SOME reason and don’t tell anyone. not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  3. Snicket Says:

    Sadly, I have a friend who dresses up everyday. She says it’s for work. Whatever. She keeps trying to make me dress “fashionably” but the fact that I don’t care at all has successfully stopped that.

    I, however, am known throughout the history department at my uni for making extremely cheap and strange t-shirts. Usually with Latin on them. Boo yeah!

  4. erin Says:

    sorry, i dont normally make comments on old posts, but i have that Nancy Vandal shirt!! (just that i have never seen another one before.)

  5. Aimee Says:

    Awesome, Erin! I’ve seen one other person with that NV shirt, and that’s it. Thanks for stopping by!