Your Film SUCKED, and other stories

After so many years of catering mediocrity, Monash Clayton fiiiinally has a spanky new cafe, one that actually serves decent coffee. Before I go on, I should defend Wholefoods, the student-run, hippy cafe-restaurant. I love Wholefoods, and there will always be a place in my heart for it; after all, it’s been such a huge part of my Uni “experience”. That said, I get really frustrated with it sometimes. I really don’t like having to wait for someone to recover from their most recent goddamn bong hit before they make my fuckin’ coffee. Anyway, it’s great to finally have a nice place to hang out at Uni that does decent coffee. Even though Bronwyn (who seems to be my source of information for everything these days) told me that the Science Faculty had to build the new building its in so they could start working with dangerous contaminants, presumably of the nature of Anthrax and such. And still I ate there. Just shows you what a girl will do for coffee, really.

Earlier tonight I caught up with my dear friend Sonya and went to see Boob Tube, a collection of short films that is part of the Melbourne Queer Film Festival. Overall it was a really excellent collection, although of course some were far better than others.
I felt sorry for the director of one of the films, who was actually in the audience and got up and spoke before the screening began. I felt sorry for her because hardly anyone spoke after her film was shown, and that was because it was A HUGE LOAD OF SELF-INDULGENT CRAP. In its defence, though, I guess it didn’t really fit in with the rest of the films, because it was experimental and also a documentary of sorts, and the rest of the films were a) fiction and b) generally had a least some humour to them, even if they weren’t funny overall. But even saying that in its defence, it was still shit, partly because it took itself soooo seriously, and partly because I could see that if it had been made better (and possibly by someone else), it would have had the chance to be really, really good. As it was, though, it reminded me of that South Park episode where they took off exactly that sort of film – I think it was the one where South Park got a film festival? With the bad black-and-white lesbian film that made people want to gouge out their eyeballs? That was the same episode with the Gay Cowboys Eating Pudding film, yeah? I loved that. Ever since that comparison formed in my mind, I’ve been going around saying “Gay cowboys eating pudding!” and giggling to myself. Because I am ten. At any rate, it was pretentious twattage, and I’m an Arts student, for fuck’s sake. It’s not like I need any more pretentious twattage in my life right now.

One Response to “Your Film SUCKED, and other stories”

  1. momo Says:

    I remember we once had a woman come and lecture us for our film and television production subject. She had directed a few frozen food commercials, with enough wit to prompt at least a snigger on the first viewing. Anyway, she said as part of her lecture, “Oh, I’m known for humorous work, I suppose. But I wish I wasn’t. I really don’t find comedy very funny.”

    How’s that for pretentious twattage?